A Candid Account of Speed-Dating at Fan X 2015

It's February! Fan X is over. We've done four or five of these things already, and I still have a hard time believing we have this community here in Utah. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!

Oh, right. Probably in basements or locked in your rooms, like I usually am. Ain't that the best place in the world? Duh, Gordo!

Anyhoo. The topic is speed-dating! It's a great idea for an event like this. Our community isn't exactly famous for its social skills, is it? Seems like a step in the right direction to force us to be brave, doesn't it? More than once, I've wished someone would grab me by the neck and throw me in the deep end.

 Props to Ryan Glitch, you've done something good.

I only did the speed-dating Thursday, and it was a very pleasant experience. There were only about 10% as many awkward silences as I was expecting; by and large, I had what felt like very natural and pleasant conversations with all the women I had the pleasure of (sorta) meeting. By the end, I was surprised to find my palms were sweaty, because I didn't think I was nervous. Still, it went really well!

Surely I had a few numbers waiting on my sheet, right? That would be the hard part, that's the part where I always chicken out. I have a hard time working up the nerve to call those number, but still! I did well that day, at least I knew I could get the numbers!

At least, that's what I thought until I retrieved my sheet. 1 number, a single number from a girl who may not even be enthusiastic about leaving it. So much for suave lil' Gordo.

Naturally, I was discouraged. I tossed my card and that one phone number in the first receptacle I passed. That wasn't a smart decision, I shouldn't leave stones unturned, but again: discouraged.

The healthy thing to do is shrug it off, and I did. I'd just wish I'd done it earlier. I went home and lay awake; wallowing, at first, until rationality came back. Think, Gordo, what are you so down about?

You're terrible at telling how old people are; you're 29, maybe everyone you talked to was younger than you thought. You were one of the guys next to an empty chair, maybe girls who would have given you their number changed their mind in the three minutes they had nobody to talk to. It was hard to stay hydrated in there, maybe your breath went bad.

Maybe you're just the kind of guy Abraham Lincoln was talking about.

Circumstance after circumstance; there were so many thing that could have went wrong, what are the chances that things would go right? Being depressed about it is like being depressed at losing a round of roulette where you bet on 31 black; OF COURSE ya didn't win, you should be surprised if ya did. Don't whinge, just bet again or try a different game.

Naturally, I feel a lot better now. Don't blame the format, ladies and fellas, and don't blame yourself. It's an exercise, something you gotta try a million times before you whine about not finding your one-in-a-million. It's not wrong to get discouraged, but don't stay that way.

Lil' Gordo, #43 in Thursday's Speed Dating, just wants to say: thanks again to Ryan Glitch and his crew, thanks to Salt Lake Comic Con, and thanks to all you beautiful people who came out. I'll see ya around, and most definitely in September!