Word, idiots. I know, "hostile work environment!" Danger Zone, Lana.
Comic Con has done something like this, to me, both times it's happened. Why for? Guess there must be something to this "social animal" argument.
I've thought a ton about the coming subject of this li'l article, which we haven't got to yet. I started putting The Agnostic Crusade into words back in August 2005 (I don't know if that's true, actually, but it sounds right), and ever since, I've been grappling with how you guys might react to my stories.
Stories? Gaaaaaay.
At first, I was terrified of you. That's probably not much of a confession, you probably suspected something like that ever since you found out I was chasing this "Author" goose. You may not have known what I was afraid of (I think I just barely figured that out), just that I was afraid. None of that's your fault.
Why does talking about trying to write for a living feel so much like being in the closet for me? That's not a fair comparison in any way. Think I'm alone in that regard?
I don't think I am afraid anymore, because I think I get it now. It was easy all along. I was afraid that exposing my work would confirm the possibility that I'm the only one who cares about the things I tend to care about. It was always as simple as that. I was afraid I was the only one who would like the things I like, and that would mean I'm alone or something.
What a crock, amirite? I don't think that was a puzzle that required all this time to work out logically. I think it was more like a button that took me all these years to work up the courage to push. MAN was that anticlimactic.
Aside from all that, me ego don't feel important anymore. It don't hurt when it's hit, so why defend it? We're approaching the point now, hang in there.
With all the media attention (hate me right now?) on income inequality lately, I've heard a lot of journalists exploring what makes the difference between 'successful people' and peons like me. The answer doesn't seem to be education, though you get the answer from the same place you get your education; the answer is the network. They may be on to something
Something like 85% of CEOs in America belonged to a fraternity, according to that one lady on the Daily Show that one time. (Incontrovertible source!) I hear constant statistics about how people who get dookie done have these armies or networks or something behind them. They do the rest of us a great disservice by pretending they pulled themselves up by their bootstraps. They got to where they are because they were either boosted by their friends or their friends pulled them up after they got boosted.
On the chance it sounds like I'm implying blame, know that's not what I mean. If that previous paragraph sounded like "I haven't been published because you guys haven't helped me!", you read it wrong. I'm not saying that; I'm saying I'm an idiot for approaching this as "something I have to do alone."
In recent months, I've realized this may be the factor that's slowing me down so much, that's draining my motivation to work. If I could approach this a little more like a raid boss and less like a boss from a single-player JRPG, I'd definitely be more active on the project (though if we do this experiment, the project changes.) But how? Nobody, myself included, wants to sit down and read a complete manuscript and try to pick apart everything they don't like about it.
Oh, duh. The answer's easy. Don't wait until you've completed the mountain to ask people what's wrong with it. Ask people what they think of each Lego before you put it on the Lego mountain. That's why, if a number of you bungplugs are in, we're starting from scratch.
Yeah, we've arrived. I want you dudes to consider helping me, and I think (with some refinement), I can have you do that in a manner that resembles what we already like to do together. You know how we go to Denny's and quibble (don't give me that look) about our flavor of the month, about what we love and about the 'if only they did this' stuff and how the whole exercise is kind of awesome? Think maybe we could get somewhere if I threw some ideas I have at you guys and you played with em a bit?
This is all in line with that "frat" statistic up there. You may be thinking: why should Gordo be the first to get a boost this way? We've all got our dreams, why should we put ours on hold to further Gordo's? Well, there is no reason for that. I can't provide any tangible compensation. All I can do is try to keep things bite size (how'd this article get so big already?) and try to keep it fun somehow, try to harness our critiques for existing zombie apocalypses and fantasy franchises and apply it to my little hobby. It's a selfish favor to ask, which is why I won't be disappointed if it's not one you can agree to. Refusal won't hurt me, I promise.
Another issue: you may not understand exactly what I'm asking just yet. Well, I'm thinking of rattling off a little post like this (shorter! if I can be competent in this industry, it must be shorter!) every week or so, present you with an idea and see how you might make it better. For instance, if I were the creator of these franchises, I might lay out the rules of the Devil Fruit system in One Piece and ask for your input on individual fruits, might introduce you to the Force from Star Wars and help me decide how it can and can't be used, might introduce you to Ned Stark and ask if and how I should kill him off. Do you understand the favor I'm asking, the proposal I'm making? I want input on whether ideas feel interesting/fresh enough and how you might make them more so.
Yeah. It's entirely possible I need to wake up and return to the real world and forget all this authorship nonsense and you want no part of such a waste of time. If so, though, I'm numb to that need. I can survive, even if this author thing is a diversion, so don't feel like you're encouraging self-destructive behavior by playin' this game wit' me. I'm still going to try, even if I've got nothing to show for meself in the next nine years.
You don't need to commit. I'm just asking you to experiment with me. I'll continue to invite you to participate, and if you find yourself unable to make it through a particular post/keep up with the posts each week(?), just tell me that, and that will be more than enough feedback. Even this idea of helping me critique ideas is an idea that's up for critique.
I get how gay all the candor feels right now. I'm violating the bro code or something with all this 'sincerity.' Suck it up, pussy, I got work to do! I'm just inviting the more valid opinions to the table before I go skulking off to find less competent ones, that's all. One of my primary shortfalls (plural!) for "making it" is I'm not prolific enough, and I really believe discussing the project as it goes will do wonders to keep me on task; thereby, I'd be insulting you if I turn to incompetent trolls before asking the dildos that have had a point every once in a long while.
Do you see why I believe this exercise would be useful? Do you think you'd have the time and interest to participate? Post using G+ here, open a new tab and respond on facebook or via e-mail, or just say it in vent, if talking's easier than typing. Anyhoo. You've made it through #1, hopefully future posts fit in the mouth easier. You know, like your mothers' dicks. Eat it!
